My journey and Manna Monday can not be separated, so please bare with me.
As you may or may not have noticed, i am going through a journey of letting go all my hurts and pain which is synonymously attacked to my weight. so besides eating right and exercising, i am deliberately engaging people who have hurt me or let me down in any way, actually seeking them out, sitting down and ironing out issues, so that the weight gets less and less.
The Bible does instrust us to cast our burdens unto Jesus, yes, great, but i know there is need for you an i to take part is our walk. For 10years, i had never spoke nicely to my ex - Tawanda's dad (my son) about anything, because of the hurt and let down, i was sooo angry and we never spoke nicely to each other. Because God is faithful and kind, it so happened he is in the country and i sort a meeting, boy was i scared, so scared i thought butterflies were breeding in my tummy. i even hit a low on saturday i wanted to eat my brains out, to be honest i slipped, i had 2 small packets of Simba chips. i still did not feel good, so i watched tv, that didnt help, until i decided to walk up and down, round and round the house.
Since my emotions and food were closely attached, i received loads of emotional encouragement from people, others did tell me to eat carrots or cucumber.... this is the thing, they do not help my feel good hormones, so i just walked, and of course spoke to friends and laughed, which helped. This was a very difficult place for me, because i felt lost and confused. I then resorted to reading Psalm 130 over and over again for strength and i also got a song that walked me through the pain easier.
I know you might be thinking get a grip girl... really! But hey we all have gwans and mine we hidden and carefully tucked into my curves and excess weight. So yes am cleaning my dirty linen in public so that no stain is left and i am a better person for myself.
Thank God i had prayed after my restlessness for the meeting, we ironed out some critical issues at height of peace, yes peace, (yes the peace of God that surpasses all understanding) there was not mean and venomous words exchanged. if you had seen us, you would think we were friends. I am not saying we are now bffs, but we are not civil to each other and have our son's best interest at heart. He did promise the world for his son, but we are at a way better place than we were for the past 10years. The anger was going to kill me. Imagine 10 years of a lot of emotions and hurt, of course some will not automatically disappear but it get better from here.
I have been faithfully exercising for the past 13days now. You know what? They say it takes 21days to establish a lasting habit and i only have a week to g! i feel happier lighter and more confident, yes, it might not yet be showing, but i am loving, the sweat, the tears and the pain am loosing. thank you to the family and friends that are on me like hawks, gosh.. this journey would have killed me from the very beginning without you. i have now moved from yoga only to walking/jogging and then yoga, soon, i will be jogging and stretching with yoga.
I would like to encourage you to go for xmas, peaceful and better appreciated by self and others. Please leave 2013 with all the anger and hurt. let go of all the grudges you are holding. I know its not an event, its a process. So walk out the process, one step at a time. I also know you might be able to see the person, call them, inbox, text do something! like i always say, this person might not even know you hurt them.keep calm and be at peace.
