There is a series of events that have taken place in my life for the past 2 weeks, which has made me realise that some people are not passionate about their work, or do not necessarily believe in the things they advocate for. That some do what they do not to make a change but for bread and butter issues. I do not blame them at all, however, life is a wheel, it goes round and round.
I remember when i was young my father used to sit me down and encourage me to speak out, and not be intimidated whenever i am wronged, violated or uncomfortable with what ever proceeding at hand. Then the day came, I spoke out when my body was sexually violated and the politics of my body became more complicated. A first cousin of mine, had sexually forced themself on me; little did i know, that what Dad had drilled into my head while i was growing up, was just the ideal, he never thought one day i would need to use this weapon he had given me. I was shut down, silenced and humilitated.
I told him the details, and he was very angry! Why on earth and from where did i get the guts to tell him? So angry that he made me feel as if it was my fault. He also did not want to know, i should have kept it to myself, taken it to the grave or told my mother. This shocked me because he had created the "safe" platform/space for me to vocalise all my issues; but when it can to me actually doing it, i was too forward and somethings are better not said! The power over was in play and i was shut down, because it would have caused instability within the family and they would have been division. I was the problem and i had to be weeded out by silence. Why shake the status quo when all is functioning, just work with what you have and handed to you, society says. People use money and power over to control people.
I have realised that even in churches and at work, i have been raped of my human and labour rights. Working for an organisation that is dealing with the plight for women and how they should be treated, and yet, you experience the very victimisation within your workplace or in the church. The fight is really not against Patriarchy alone, its against our very own women. Its OK when its somebody else but them.
There is a shona patriarchal proverb that says "kunyarara kuno kunda zvose" loosely translated, "silence is the best above all", is it really? should i be silent when i am raped, when i am abused, when i am violated, when i am victimised? how and what does it benefit me. Doesn't this not suffocated the very core of my being and leading to accumulation of anger and bitterness?
Now i understand why a lot of women, especially young women remain invisible, silent down trodden, it is because once they voice they concerns and issues, they a pounded into the ground and "pay" for their actions. Be it issues pertaining to Domestic violence, rape, abuse, work related abuse, education etc. I learnt at a feminist course this year that we are at war with the patriarchal system, but the system is more intertwined than what it seems?
Should i teach my daughter to speak out? because she risks being shut down and being discouraged! I have never been a person who is silent when i am violated, i have experienced a lot of it, and i refuse to be victimised. Others would say, well with that attitude you will not go places, really? So according to TendaiWenyasha's wisdom or lack of it........ Speak out but remember its at your own risk
