As the Year comes to an end.....

I have since realised that the year is coming to an end. lol, i know, some might say, come on Tendi, you only realising it now?! well, yes, now, i was so busy being a bee, that 2012 went by so quickly and now i stand at the very end looking back what i have accomplished in this profound year, but thank God i reliased it before it was too late!!!!!!!

Pastor Tom declared this to be a year of Godly governance and peace, and as the year comes to an end... i reflect on whether this has been so. it seems there has been a lot of areas i have had to find governance and peace within and around me. I have been tested in my areas of passion, love, faith and career. This indeed needed Godly governance and peace. What ever that was declare over the year, look at 2012 what happened in it and how it was meant to turn out. if it is far off, then alarm bells should be sounding!!!!!

As the year comes to an end... what do you have to show for your success for 2012 and the breakthroughs that you encountered?

As the year comes to an end.... what lessons have you learnt that will propel you into greatness?

As the year comes to an end..... what relationships have you uprooted that did not edify you, what relationships did you establish and rekindle that will make 2013 a better year?

As the year come to an end ....... how has your relationship with God been, how can you make it more solid and intimate in 2013?

As the year comes to an end....... what ideas, visions and dreams have you accomplished, and that which you have not, how will you strategise better to accomplish in 2013?

I think gone are the days, a year comes to an end and it takes you by surprise and then you quickly write done resolutions or what ever you prefer to call them, without analysing 2012 and what happened.

I know it sounds too much, but if companies and big brands go to strategise for the next year, how come we do not take time out to strategise on the following year. Look at what happen this year, what you would have done better, and how best to tackle 2013.

lets not just sit buy and watch 2013 happen to us, lets happen to 2013, so come on, strategise for 2012, actually i dear you to send me your simple to fancy strat-plan for 2013 on how you will make it as you want it to be.

As  the year comes to an end........ end comes to the year!!!!!

Speak out>>>> at your own risk!

There is a series of events that have taken place in my life  for the past 2 weeks, which has made me realise that some people are not passionate about their work, or do not necessarily believe in the things they advocate for. That some do what they do not to make a change but for bread and butter issues. I do not blame them at all, however, life is a wheel, it goes round and round.

I remember when i was young my father used to sit me down and encourage me to speak out, and not be intimidated whenever i am wronged, violated or uncomfortable with what ever proceeding at hand. Then the day came, I spoke out when my body was sexually violated and the politics of my body became more complicated. A first cousin of mine, had sexually forced themself on me; little did i know, that what Dad had drilled into my head while i was growing up, was just the ideal, he never thought one day i would need to use this weapon he had given me. I was shut down, silenced and humilitated.

I told him the details, and he was very angry! Why on earth and from where did i get the guts to tell him? So angry that he made me feel as if it was my fault. He also did not want to know, i should have kept it to myself, taken it to the grave or told my mother. This shocked me because he had created the "safe" platform/space for me to vocalise all my issues; but when it can to me actually doing it, i was too forward and somethings are better not said! The power over was in play and i was shut down, because it would have caused instability within the family and they would have been division. I was the problem and i had to be weeded out by silence. Why shake the status quo when all is functioning, just work with what you have and handed to you, society says. People use money and power over to control people.

I have realised that even in churches and at work, i have been raped of my human and labour rights. Working for an organisation that is dealing with the plight for women and how they should be treated, and yet, you experience the very victimisation within your workplace or in the church. The fight is really not against Patriarchy alone, its against our very own women. Its OK when its somebody else but them.

There is a shona patriarchal proverb that says "kunyarara kuno kunda zvose" loosely translated, "silence is the best above all", is it really? should i be silent when i am raped, when i am abused, when i am violated, when i am victimised? how and what does it benefit me. Doesn't this not suffocated the very core of my being and leading to accumulation of anger and bitterness?

Now i understand why a lot of women, especially young women remain invisible, silent down trodden, it is because once they voice they concerns and issues, they a pounded into the ground and "pay" for their actions. Be it issues pertaining to Domestic violence, rape, abuse, work related abuse, education etc. I learnt at a feminist course this year that we are at war with the patriarchal system, but the system is more intertwined than what it seems?

Should i teach my daughter to speak out? because she risks being shut down and being discouraged! I have never been a person who is silent when i am violated, i have experienced a lot of it, and i refuse to be victimised. Others would say, well with that attitude you will not go places, really? So according to TendaiWenyasha's wisdom or lack of it........ Speak out but remember its at your own risk

first of a kind

The Chinese proverb – the faintest pencil is better than the sharpest memory is very true, I have had to remember things that happened 10 years ago because as they happened I did not write it down. Unbeknown to me, this is a significant piece of history that I have been sitting on. I am the first female to hold an executive position in the Student Council in March 2002 as a Secretary General at Africa University; I was in second year.

There I was, finally I had arrived at the most beautiful campus in Zimbabwe and was seated in the Main lecture theatre waiting for the SRC president to come and address the first years. I remember wondering why there was no woman in the executive, there only was one woman and she held the social welfare position, felt like something sour had just gotten into my mouth.

Being a very curious and extrovert of a first year, I wanted to know why ladies did not campaign for the higher offices, and I was told, it’s a lot of work and the guys never vote for the females. Also women being the majority of votes, did not vote for their own either, this made me realize we had a problem.

When the term of office for the present SRC was coming to an end, I was called into Mrs. (now DR) Gwaradzimba’s, she wanted me to run for an executive position and not campaign for the lowly positions. I remember requesting for the constitution because I wanted to know the responsibilities that came with the 3 top executive offices; President, Vice-President and the Secretary General. In March 2002 was when the elections were to be held.

I remember saying I don’t want people to vote for me because I am a woman, but because they believe I can make a positive and tangible change in the students body. I read the constitution and realized that the SG had significant powers and had more influence; I then decided to run for that office. Paul Munjenge, the out-going President volunteered to be my campaign manager, him being very popular, it worked to my advantage. I remember some of my fellow young women from the prior years, volunteering information that, AU since inception had never had a woman vying for such positions. The ladies gave me some history lessons, telling me that there were some who had tried before and had failed and I wasn’t any different or special and that I should exit the race before I was taken to the cleaners.

I was slightly shaken but I had already made u my mind, I wasn’t going to quit, throwing the towel was not an option for me because it was far greater than me. one thing I realized is women, we pull each other down I think it’s because we are afraid of challenging the status quo or we are jealous someone might actually succeed that which you are secretly wanting for yourself. My biggest challenge was to convince the women that I was worth their votes and I would make a different and not because I am a woman so therefore they should vote for me. I remember my posters were written such harsh words, some I cannot even write about, some wrote that you think you are the next Mai Mujuru, others called me a bull frog, others told me to join Mai Chisamba and leave politics for men; others wrote Margret Thatcher. It was so disheartening seeing your poster written such vulgar language, it was better and safer to not replace them because they became worse and more hurtful.

I remember walking to the library by myself and a group of guys approached to say if you want our votes, you have to buy alcohol for us, or we will make sure you lose this election. I said well then I will lose I will not buy votes because what else will you demand from me, and besides its instilling corruption. I remember on guy even proposing I slept with him to convince the guys to vote for me. My campaign manager advised me to stay put and focus on the female votes, because the females voted more than guys anyway. Now catch between a hard place and a rock, the women discouraging me and the guys wanting a bride, I just let it play, I did not want to owe anyone, or be controlled by those that thought put me into office after I had won.

I remember changing my strategy and seeking the foreign vote. Africa University has the Zimbabwe community and the other countries community, and they were also the next serious voters and at this point they were my best bet. The Zimbabwean vote was already split 5 ways because all SG candidates were Zimbabwean, but I had the advantage of being the only woman. I had spent my first year attending social function for the Angolans, Mozambicans and DRC communities, so I had a great allay. Unaware, I was already their favorite candidate and the ballot would speak for itself. It was believed that if you had the foreign vote, it was a definite win for you.

I remember the students paying attention to my campaign address on the chapel stairs at Africa University, however I had been warned people are likely to walk away during my speech, but to my surprise they wanted to hear what I had to say. When the voting came I won with a landslide, the next candidate was behind me by 300 votes. There were a total of 500 +/- that voted.

When the results were announced I felt like I was dreaming, it only sunk when I was being sworn into office.  This was a defining moment in the history of female student politics in Zimbabwe. However the ZUSA did not deliberately did not send me any invitations to the meetings, so in my term of office I never attended any ZUSA meetings because they deliberately omitted me from the mailing list. This also was fuelled with the fact the AU is not a state university so we were regarded as elitists and did not have the same problems as the rest of the universities.

During my term of office I sat on the senate and initiated the change of title for the bachelor in arts to bachelor of social sciences, the first group to graduate with the stated degree was the class of 2004, my year. Africa University also had its first food boycott, this was because the food prices were increasing and yet the quality and the quantity were deteriorating. I was pregnant actually the greater part of my time in office, but I did not let that get into the way of my passion and the students I was leading. In prior years when a student got pregnant they would be kicked out of residence, but I helped move a motion that they leave on the 8^th month two weeks before their delivery date, and this still stands to this day. In this regard, the male student would be asked to exit the residence as well.

This is also the only term that the student union funds made a profit, unlike in the history where corruption was the order of the day. The team, despite being the only woman, respected me and always valued my opinion. Despite the challenges and the dynamics of being the first, my term of office will forever be one of my most defining moments. I was the first and broke through the glass ceiling!!!!

writing your story is essential.

there are a lot of things that the Chinese have said and done that i don't agree with; however the proverb - the faintest pencil is better than the sharpest memory is true! History will be distorted because,  i for one do not have a culture of writing. Ntando my friend is an amazing writer, she doesn't tire at all, she will write and write, i admire that about her, among other things. I have realized that everyone has a story to tell, and no one can tell it for you unless you write it.

so now i have this article  have to write because its such a huge piece of history that i did not document. so i encourage all of us to write write and write!!!!!

Body Politics

I have since learned that my body is like a parliament, thee are a lot of parliamentarians with constituencies within my body and everyone whats to have a say on how things should be run within he country of my body. Culture, the law, my parents, my friends, the media, music, politics, aunts and what i should do  my body. Do not be fooled, your body is under serious politics, some see you as land, there is even politics in that land. this body is mine, why is it everyone else wants to control what i do with my body.

people strive to exercise control of women's bodies by attempting to control mobility.

there is war going on, its the .....isms war

i have realized that there is a war going on, and a lot of people will not even dare challenge the status quo, people like us have been labelled as rebels because we question and question. i want to challenge you to question what you are experiencing now.

helpless.. But God!

There are times when you feel so helpless, that even your body feels weak and feeble, all i want to encourage you is hold on to God as if your life depended on it and i know He will make you strong! Hannah did it and i know you can too, Daniel in the den of lions did the same and he took cam eout, i know you know the stories of the bible, mine to say tooth, nail and all, hold on!

Becoming a better me!

I have since realised, that i am a treasure! The bible says, love your neighbour as you do yourself. So i have decided to have a new and none vain love for myself, so i can love those that surround me better and deeper. I was saying on my facebook status, that words have power; and what you think is reinforced and is likely to happen. I was not necessarily nice to anyone yesterday and i was thinking oh these police, will stop me and harrass me today, and guess what they did for a whole 20 so odd minutes, and to this minute i am convinced, it is because i confessed/spoke it and thought it and it had no choice but to manifest.

So today i decided to wake up and be full of life, speak abundance and to just love on people and of course enjoy the day and its beauty. Now there is a lot of small mercies happening to me that will add to bigger grace that is coming to me. I love the Lord because He is faithful, He is a God of many chances. I have been hurt a lot by some people i have loved with my all, and they have not loved me as i have loved them or expected to be loved in turn, but then again that is what i do with my Jesus. So, regardless of how some people will treat me today and going forward, with full knowledge that i deserve better, i will love them, and i know one day, they will realise, i am an amazing woman, a true treasure. I too have hurt people and i sincerely apologise for the pain and suffering, from the bottom of my heart, i should have known better, but i thank God i do now, and i am willing to make a 360 turn, to being a better me.

My day and future will be beautiful, and i attract to myself love and abundance, pampering and grace, and i will do unto others as i would have them do to me. Overflowing with patience, long suffering and truth. Sometimes we treat ourselves badly because we think we do not deserve to be loved and appreciated, or we punish ourselves thinking we do not deserve love. we get angry with ourselves and then take it out on others, well i know i have done that, even to my son, but now even to him, i choose to be a better and more loving mother. Well i do deserve the best in life and people deserve the best of me too. I will love me more, cherish me more, so i be more to those that i love and will love in thr future. Life is short and i want to be remember as the woman who tried everyday to change herself to be a better person, that when you sit back and think about Tendai, you shake your head with shock, but always end with a smile on your face.

So as i work towards my 30th, i choose to be a better me, full of life, love and laughter, it will not be easy or an overnight event, but i definitely want to work on the stages. so love on me and help me with this walk i have decided to embark on. xoxoxo

goodbye>>>>> see you later or not!

at times i wonder when men pursue women if they are serious and are in it for the long hole. i have i thing twice now in my life have given my all to men and they have taken my heart, ripped it out and did the Mexican hat dance on it. left me totally crushed and broken and they carry on with their lives like nothing happened!

so one would ask what have you learnt from this? my friend and sister Maureen always says to me love with your all, and say i gave it my all and leave without regrets! well i have no regrets, well i think, all i wanted is them is to love me very much the same way i loved them i guess, that's my only regret.

so if they asked be to be theirs again, what would i require from them? i wonder? because when they wanted me to love them for the very first time they acted like their life depended on it! manje when u say yes, they treat you like dog poo. come on, just be men of your word!!!

i wonder if they know, they don't make women like me anymore, they love for different reasons other than being they just love you! women have become very cunning. sha, where do u get women like me seriously, i don't know, if you can find them tell me where and i will beat it, lol, just kidding i ain't furniture.

i am done with people treating me like a lesser citizen and yah, ah, this was just venting session and well, i don't feel the best, but venting helps, i just want to know kuti varume vanombodei ahhh!

what have i learnt from this? that love is not enuf and there are no guarantees in life, well and one thing i know is love has this way of  keeping a stain that might not be removable, a stain for life. so i will be healing for a while people and yes i will be thinking of the great times and beautiful moments, and now its just a memory.

hanzi naNelly - just a dream

ini na Jesu vangu, He will never let me down!

2012 an its joys - Part 1

Lol, OMG, its been almost a year since i blogged, i mean like seriously, my brain was not on leave that i know, i think, i just became too lazy to write, or maybe face book took over because you get more hits and more comments.

This year, is the year i turn 30 *huge sigh* yes i said it 30years old! that means i am fastest approaching 40, and i can not wait for life to start beginning then, why not now, where i am, with who i have and  what i have.

so my son broke his arm on monday and i was like heish, you see, u can just loose an arm, and have not fully lived. so live each day as if it were the last day. My son, even though he broke his arm, he is all over like body lotion, playing and running (even though running broke his arm).

so hallo 2012, am ready for you, are you ready for me? i am going to love hard, play hard, profit hard, work smart and pray intimately, so welcome back Tendai, 2012 is embracing and loving you deeply!

xoxo