there is war going on, its the .....isms war

i have realized that there is a war going on, and a lot of people will not even dare challenge the status quo, people like us have been labelled as rebels because we question and question. i want to challenge you to question what you are experiencing now.

helpless.. But God!

There are times when you feel so helpless, that even your body feels weak and feeble, all i want to encourage you is hold on to God as if your life depended on it and i know He will make you strong! Hannah did it and i know you can too, Daniel in the den of lions did the same and he took cam eout, i know you know the stories of the bible, mine to say tooth, nail and all, hold on!

Becoming a better me!

I have since realised, that i am a treasure! The bible says, love your neighbour as you do yourself. So i have decided to have a new and none vain love for myself, so i can love those that surround me better and deeper. I was saying on my facebook status, that words have power; and what you think is reinforced and is likely to happen. I was not necessarily nice to anyone yesterday and i was thinking oh these police, will stop me and harrass me today, and guess what they did for a whole 20 so odd minutes, and to this minute i am convinced, it is because i confessed/spoke it and thought it and it had no choice but to manifest.

So today i decided to wake up and be full of life, speak abundance and to just love on people and of course enjoy the day and its beauty. Now there is a lot of small mercies happening to me that will add to bigger grace that is coming to me. I love the Lord because He is faithful, He is a God of many chances. I have been hurt a lot by some people i have loved with my all, and they have not loved me as i have loved them or expected to be loved in turn, but then again that is what i do with my Jesus. So, regardless of how some people will treat me today and going forward, with full knowledge that i deserve better, i will love them, and i know one day, they will realise, i am an amazing woman, a true treasure. I too have hurt people and i sincerely apologise for the pain and suffering, from the bottom of my heart, i should have known better, but i thank God i do now, and i am willing to make a 360 turn, to being a better me.

My day and future will be beautiful, and i attract to myself love and abundance, pampering and grace, and i will do unto others as i would have them do to me. Overflowing with patience, long suffering and truth. Sometimes we treat ourselves badly because we think we do not deserve to be loved and appreciated, or we punish ourselves thinking we do not deserve love. we get angry with ourselves and then take it out on others, well i know i have done that, even to my son, but now even to him, i choose to be a better and more loving mother. Well i do deserve the best in life and people deserve the best of me too. I will love me more, cherish me more, so i be more to those that i love and will love in thr future. Life is short and i want to be remember as the woman who tried everyday to change herself to be a better person, that when you sit back and think about Tendai, you shake your head with shock, but always end with a smile on your face.

So as i work towards my 30th, i choose to be a better me, full of life, love and laughter, it will not be easy or an overnight event, but i definitely want to work on the stages. so love on me and help me with this walk i have decided to embark on. xoxoxo

goodbye>>>>> see you later or not!

at times i wonder when men pursue women if they are serious and are in it for the long hole. i have i thing twice now in my life have given my all to men and they have taken my heart, ripped it out and did the Mexican hat dance on it. left me totally crushed and broken and they carry on with their lives like nothing happened!

so one would ask what have you learnt from this? my friend and sister Maureen always says to me love with your all, and say i gave it my all and leave without regrets! well i have no regrets, well i think, all i wanted is them is to love me very much the same way i loved them i guess, that's my only regret.

so if they asked be to be theirs again, what would i require from them? i wonder? because when they wanted me to love them for the very first time they acted like their life depended on it! manje when u say yes, they treat you like dog poo. come on, just be men of your word!!!

i wonder if they know, they don't make women like me anymore, they love for different reasons other than being they just love you! women have become very cunning. sha, where do u get women like me seriously, i don't know, if you can find them tell me where and i will beat it, lol, just kidding i ain't furniture.

i am done with people treating me like a lesser citizen and yah, ah, this was just venting session and well, i don't feel the best, but venting helps, i just want to know kuti varume vanombodei ahhh!

what have i learnt from this? that love is not enuf and there are no guarantees in life, well and one thing i know is love has this way of  keeping a stain that might not be removable, a stain for life. so i will be healing for a while people and yes i will be thinking of the great times and beautiful moments, and now its just a memory.

hanzi naNelly - just a dream

ini na Jesu vangu, He will never let me down!

2012 an its joys - Part 1

Lol, OMG, its been almost a year since i blogged, i mean like seriously, my brain was not on leave that i know, i think, i just became too lazy to write, or maybe face book took over because you get more hits and more comments.

This year, is the year i turn 30 *huge sigh* yes i said it 30years old! that means i am fastest approaching 40, and i can not wait for life to start beginning then, why not now, where i am, with who i have and  what i have.

so my son broke his arm on monday and i was like heish, you see, u can just loose an arm, and have not fully lived. so live each day as if it were the last day. My son, even though he broke his arm, he is all over like body lotion, playing and running (even though running broke his arm).

so hallo 2012, am ready for you, are you ready for me? i am going to love hard, play hard, profit hard, work smart and pray intimately, so welcome back Tendai, 2012 is embracing and loving you deeply!

xoxo

Question?

From your experience are Christians boring? and pleas look beyond your circle of influence...

2011

This is a different year for me, i will look at life more positively, and less fearful. A lot of things have passed me by because i have been afraid of either the unknown, being rejected or what people will say.This is where i draw the line! i want it to be a year to remember, much better in terms of decision and growth, that i become a better friend and all other portfolios that i cover, to be more self confident and courageous and always thank God for the bad the happened for he prevented the worst that could have happened. There will be definitely less pity parties and more door building for opportunities to knock at my door. to love better and be more open and understanding. i definitely will be trying wearing makeup and smiling more often (i do have a killer smile) lol!