JOB's friends, What kind of a friend are you?

i am so much inspired by the way job held on tight and just believed that God was going to do His thing, God did not dare curse God, not even a word or a thought. You know this is a very crazy season we are in, i have sen a lot of my friends going through of of their toughest seasons yet, and they just pressing on. At time we think that, my situation is the worse possible one, and no one, can understand what is going on with you.

I am not sure wat is going with you (yes you, reading this post) but i know that you must be in a season that you need some people to just sit with you, like Job's friends Chapter 2 from vs 11 -13. At times you do not need much from those that are close and dear to you, but for them to be just there, not even say a thing, but sit with you and not even utter a word, solitude, just to show that we see you grief, we love you and we are here, they sat with Job for 7 days. Now, now, i know we do not have 7 days to spare, but surely you have a sms, or a call or something to show that you see and understand their grief.

I have had wonderful friends and family, that are there for me always. I was saying to some people yesterday (at pastor Vimbayi Mahiya's Father's funeral) that there are times you need your friends and those you love, when you get married, have a child, when you get robbed and when someone dies. I might have left out some of the times, but am sure you understand where i am coming from, To just be there for those you call friends or family, its vital.

When they are weak, you are strong, when you are strong they are weak, it goes without say. You know i have days when i am strong, and have encouraged myself in the Lord through the word and worship, i look for people i can encourage and hold their hand through the season they are going through. We need to move away from being seasonal friends and be those that are true and constant. However if you do know that the relationship is seasonal, then be effective in the season, you have been assigned in that person's life. If you are there to encourage, restore, bless, pray, deliver, love, or just be there, then do that, because there will come a season, when your needs will need these friends.

If you look in chapter 3 of Job, his friends then remind him of how strong he has been for others and an encourager and all, and now he has grown weak, and that is were they come in to remind him of whose he is, who he is, and whom his God is. this is amazing. i am loving Job so much and i have a better understanding of who he did it, he was confident in his God firstly and then he had a solid support structure, however, the wife leaves a lot to desire, that why Pastor E' says, are you marrying a wife or a knife. i will nt even go into that one, whom you marry wat wat, but yes, you need to know whether this person can stand by you and still believe in you, not falter when trouble come, hanzi curse God and die, eeeeeeeeee, abominationwooo.

Job took a while to get out in the place he was at because his loss was great, but he eventually did. And it didnot say he did not trust his God no! We all need time to mourn, but not throwing pity-parties, go through the emotions and carry on with life without dwelling to much on the event look forward with hope, that God's perfect will, shall come to pass, and your future is much better than your past. I for one is a person, who shelves my emotions and avoid dealing with them, and then when i least expect it, the creep up on me, and i feel emotionally exhausted, tired and in-between emotions. If someone asks me, whats wrong, i will probably say i do not know, which is true, because i am not sure which issue is surfacing, what happened, when and why. But Job, went through the emotions and friends listened, and helped, or not i doono, but he went through the emotions.

Well be there for someone, especially those you hold close, and then be random as well, and be there for those that seem like they do not have anyone, and see if God will not cause a great blessing to come upon you. We give out of the abundance of our hearts, wats in yours? What have you been banking in your heart, can we withdraw it and give it to someone? I know the rich have many friends, and we always focus on financially rich only, did you know the rich in love too have many friends, the rich in peace, the rich in encouragement, the rich in grace they too have loads of friends, the poor at these too have nothing, even their own neighbours and family despise them

What kind of a friend are you?

Hold me Lord.........

ok, so where to start its a monday and almost a week after i got robbed, the things i had spent my life working for, you wake up and there is nothing, like nothing in the house. i remember the day so clearly i did not want to think, my usual problem, i just carried on like there was nothing wrong, told myself, be strong don't be silly, people will think u do not have faith. Yes i was grateful noone got hurt, that they got in and out without hurting anyone i loved, but the biggest thing they had hurt was my heart and my will power to just trust. i feel so violated and aaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh anger is somewhere there in the mix of things.

i know myself to have gone thru really crazy thing in like, facing domestic violence, staying in musasa project, being a single mother. loosing a man i had given my best years to someone else, then going thru a divorce, being alone, with my son and finding my way with Christ in me only, i know iknow, most christians would then say yes, thats all u need, and yes i know that, but there comes a point in you life you are like Lord, when is it my turn to experience sweet victory. one thing i know is that even those that love you will never know or understand wat is going on inside you, or how much you need help, and how far the help should go.

then you are those that think they are doing you a favour to talk to you, and that my life would stop without them, well that was like random, but hey, a girl need to go random at times.
Then you are in line to be a deacon and there are the watchdogs that just sit around and wait for you to make a mistake and take u out. then people forget that u need time to self and cmy child, they just dump on u things, ok, i know i allow them as well, but am better now, i can even say No, when i see it fit too. pressure! ok that was random too.

I am so weak, i feel like heish Lord, saka, ndosvika riini, ndichicelebrator other people's victories. Yes i know stand, having done all to stand, and like i said to my brothe r Bvumai, then why d i do all the standing while others are sitting or lying down, my legs will swell ka. . Yes yes, i hear you christians, its darkest before dawn, huh? ok, then its pitch black right now, someone tell me what time is it right. It is doing my head in. Yes, do not be fooled, i love my God i know what He has done for me and whta He keeps doing, am just tired. You hear people say the devil is there to steal kill and destroy, i even said that when i got robbed, and then today it hit me, why am i just content with the first half of John 10:10 and then when is my But He has come to give you life and life more abundantly.

i know we celebrate even the smallest of breakthrus, but heish, i would so love big ones. In my church there is a course called walking free, i thought to myself, maybe i need to go wash myself in something, and then i did, in the blood of Jesus, but ok, now wat, wait?? hmmmmmmmmm, heish the Juanita kinda wait, ahhhh! well i have not even exercised because handina strength yacho, i really am waitign to see, when it is my turn to just say heeeeeee! and i am thinking if i feel like this, how is my son, he is young and really needs the cover and support, i think i need to slow down and just be with Tinayemudiwa, but then again, a support system that is strong has helped me come this far.

Tinayemudiwa does not even feel secure to be home anymore, he wants out, because he consistantly thinks matsotsi will come and steal him this time. and to add insult to injury his dad, plays passive dad, and when it suits him, he looks for him, i just want him to be there for his son, call him, talk to him, i know he is going to the uk to see his dad, but then wat? will he feel loved and covered and protected and cherished. i fear that he will come back rejected and i will have a lot of damage control to do. ok, i have so many thougts right now and i did not even think i had all this.

i want my mother home, like seriously, as serious as a heart attack. there is no place u should go without your mother, (that too goes for my son, uk, hmmmm) i miss my mother, there is one time in april, my sister had just moved back from the uk for good, and we had a huge fight, and all i need was to be somewhere i was loved and cared for, i went to my dad's house(lol big mistake) Charity, my father's wife, whom by the way has never been abused or shouted at by anyone for coming to be a second wife, decides to illtreat me, all i know is wat goes around comes around, maybe not on you, but on the next generation. if you steal someone's husband be rest assured your daughter will experience the same thing, someone will take her, ok random again, focus tendi.

so Lord, ok, this is my simple plee today, hold me! i need you to be tangible right now, my emotions seem to be all over like body lotion, and yes i am strong, yes i can fight, and yes i ca do all things thru christ who strengthens me! so here i am Lord desperate for a touch, to hear your voice, to see your greatness, to shout and see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. well then i gues psalm 91 will have to get tired with me, because i will meditate on it day and night, i am not forgotten, i am the apple of God's eye, He brags about me all the time and likes to show off of my faithfulness.

there is no other name, the main name is the name of Jesus, He is able................

I have been bad, Michael Jackson Bad.............Heish

heish, i know, heish, has been like my new favourite world, lol! anyway, so why have i been MJ bad, its coz its been like wat 7 days and i have not exercised. i have been working late and getting home really late and tired, and then the temperature dropped and getting out of bed just got harder to get out of bed! Then well, the unthinkable happened, i saw Ntando's NOW look and i was like heish! she is so determined and focused and will ot let her 2 kids and husband, and full time job being mum stop her from looking hotter than Jolie, and now i know tomorrow its on.

Last week monday morning i weeded the garden and it was some work out. But i have since learnt to reduce mt portions, and i was telling Nyasha and Jayne that i need new under wear because am a dress size smaller. lol! well so tomorrow, i am going to jowalk and then come back and weed the rest of the garden. i have also learnt that the way i feel physically also tallies with my spiritual state, and i am not as intensely connected as i was when i was working out. i have had mad revelations this week, but i keep wondering if i could have serious moments with God if i was fit enough for the task.

Well thank you Ntando, you are my sweet dream girl or a beautiful mightmare, because when i saw your photo i was like Why not? No more MJ stunts. Rue Nyambuya sent me something to help with my work out and eating plan, but it will not open, i will sure make a plan. i have also noticed i have not been as productive this wek because of this exercise thing not firing! OK, bring it on! this is sooooo on!

Lol also when your not exrcising you stop blogging, ummmmmmmmm, MJ, heish, am back

This one was for Ntando.......

Waking up in the morning to go for a run in the deep and serious cold days of June are like the worst ever, Today i was really seriously thinking of not going for my jogwalk, and then i realised and remembered it was Ntando's birthday, and then i had to get out of bed and dedicate my jowalk to her, so i decided to walk a slid 2kms just for her 29th. So there you go babes happy birthday!

So i let the house and took a route i was not even sure i could walk it out in time to bath, and go to work, but well, i had a birthday girl in mind, and thus the jogging came in. Well i forgot to mention that those 3 ladies from my walking club went AWOL on me and decided to not walk this winter because its too cold, but hey, i have my own cross to carry and battle to fight!

So i jogged..... a lil!

LOL! i have been out with stomach cramps for two days, monday and tuesday, and had a running tummy, so i tried walking on monday and i had to pinch everything back in so that i do not run, lol! running tummy, catch the drift?

Anyway, so i decided aiwa kani, zvakwana, and i prayed, i said Lord, you know am on a mission ka nhai, a mission to be healthy, fit and sexy as a bonus, yes sexy, i want to be eye candy as well ahhh, who doesn't! lol! So yes today i woke up late at 545am, and still took my ipod, and started walking towards strathaven, its abt 1.5kms from my house. i think i had walked abt 500m, when i said aiwa ka let me try jogging, and well i did all the way to strathaven, and then brisk walked back home, and i felt so alive and my blood was rushing and i felt so goooood!

My friend Basil, whom was in my initial thread on facebook dropped by to see me at lunch and he was like hey, i see you loosing some weight, now wow, imagine wat that did to me, and i told MOMO and she is like Blog it and i am now. Its so great when people can notice, but even greater when the pants have some space in then, even when its still lil space, its space. BUT not space to eat more and fill up your tummy, NO, space to know that there is a wardrobe change soon.

Well Rungano, affectionately known as Ru, said she is now my states working out buddy, Ru is my longest surviving friend from grade 4! she said she will work out a plan for me to work out before i go to gym! Did i tell you Ntando wrote a blog on me, ok me and others but i was there, ME! So yes my support structure is so strong and is keeping me in check. Simba in Aussy, also askes and has decided to be regular to the gym himself.

i have also reduced the amount of food i eat now, into half and more veggies less carbs, but waiting on RU, for my Zim friendly wat to eat! so my tummy has shrunk and i am feeling good, my skin is clearing and i feel more confident. thanks for reading, til next time, exercise, exercise, exercise!

Keep walking...

YOu know one thing i am so sure about right now, is that the steps of the righteous are ordered by the Lord. At times we do not know why things happen the way they happen, or why we take turns and meet people and go to xool, and have children, or wateva it is that happens in our lifes. Well now i know its its even sweeter when you have Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, why? because the steps of the righteous are ordered by the Lord

So yesterday, my boss got so busy and could not walk with me between 4 and 5pm, and then we also have the action conference and i was expected to be there by 445pm, so then, i was really devaststed, because i thought to myself, aiwa ka, not again, procastination, and i was not on duty as floor manager so there was no walking around as usual.

So anyway i went home was in bed by midnight, and the old me would have cooked up an excuse like, ah, i went to bed late so haaa, another time. i set my alarm for 615am, before it even went off, i was up, i dressed, took my xool ipod(yes the diploma am doing gives us ipods for a month interval). My son Titi even said, "mum, are you going jogging?" and i said yes son, right now am walking but soon i will be jogging and he giggled, lol!

So the i was praising and brisk walking and sweating and all, then i met these 2 ladies, walking like they were coming to the end of their walk, and then we said good morning, like loyal walkers would do, with smiles on our faces, its a way of acknowleding the job well done. i then continued with my walk, as i was approaching home, i met Priscilla, one of the ladies, i had smiled back at and said hi, then i thought what do i have to loose, let me ask, where and how they walk each morning? She was really nice, she told me they are 3 ladies and they walk every morning from 530am for between 3-5kms a day except sundays, i was eager to ask if i could join then, then she beat me to it, she offered that i join them, WOW. really.

Then i thought tomyself, keep walking Tendai, TendaiWenyasha, when you make a decision on somrthing stick to it, now am waiting to be surprised whom am walking with, am sure one of these 3 women has my breakthru!

However boss lady, i told her wat happened, and she said :Tendai, i need to be serious, lets get going on MOnday", you know wat come monday, whether she walks with me or not i will walk after work and will keep walking..........

Support me

Well i have always known, yes i have, that i was over weight, it did not happen overnight, or because i decided to sit down and say, ohhhh,it would be great if i were over weight. i am not also going to list down the excuses of why, when, how and what happened for me to be this big and well unfit.

i have however realised that i choose to loose the weight, starting now, as i write i have realised that i could have a stroke and die, because i am overweight and unhealthy. I know Maureen and Ntando have my back on this one. It will not be easy i know, and it will take a lot of descipline and dedication, but i want to do this, for myself and my son. If am healthier i will live longer and i will enjoy the blessing of the Caleb descendants.

i want to lose about 20kgs plus by the end of the year, and i know i can do it, if those love me, will help me. i know there are those who will have a lot to say, others might even say, haiwawo anTendai, you will ot get anywhere, but you know what? am so done with this overweight thing, i want out, immediately!

BUT! its a process not an event, and am so starting the processright not, i want to be accountable to all those who care enough. Ok, Tendai, what is the action plan? am glad you asked
my boss and i starting tomorrow will be walking for an hour from 4-5pm, from Celebration centre harare to and fro the race course (to start with). Whne we are fitter, in two weekes time, we will the start our aerobics clases and the trademil. I will be telling you more about this soon, i have to work, please post your support, it would be most welcome....