i like a friend and i want to tell him but......

i know that friends are friends because there is an attraction of some sort to each other, and there is so much link and love that at times i becomes all messy. You can be attracted, physically, spiritually,mentally, economically, sensually. intellectually, socially, academically, entertainmentically. or whatever else that made you friends in the first place.

i know i have great friends, the problem is my friends, the guys, they are such great friends i know i can recommend them to any of my girl friends. Just be careful to not fall in love with a friend, been there done that and got the t-shirt. AAm not saying there is anything wrong with it, but it only becomes a problem, when theyare not into you like that, and mostly its the ladies that like the guys and the guy is not interested, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Anyway i like a friend and i want to tell him but, what if its like the first time i liked a friend and they did not like me that way back?

Answered prayers!

Isaiah 49 vs 8-11.

On Tuesday evening, my sister an i went for prayers at Celebration Church west gate, for their weekly church prayers. My sister has been going to CCW for the last 4to 5 months i think, since she arrived from the UK after 11 years of being away from home.

Why i am blogging this is because God answers prayers, now we were praying fervently and Deacon Lesedi Mzwimbi was leading the prayers and he said, confess, strongly, and i don't care if you lose your voice, that this week, i will have an earthquaking miracle and answered prayer!

My sister was so determined she got her answered prayer today, her hearts desires have been fulfilled today, you know she not only believed, but she put some effort to it. How there you have it, faith with works is ALIVE, now she has two offers, when at first not even one was hopeful. I know she will Rock Gateway, she just has to decide whether its primary or high school, and she is being sponsored her teacher training program as well. Haaaaaaaaaaaa Jesus is so nice Mhani!

i just thank God that He is faithful, and so diligent in His promise, you know what the bible says, life and death is in the power of your tongue, now, what are you confessing and are you expecting your prayers to be answered hmmmmmmmmmmmm, i wonder?

The Lord of the Harvest!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, i know that He is the Lord of the Harvest and His desire is that we live and not die, and that we see the His goodness in the land of the living. i heard something so profound that i wan to share, with those that don't mind. i was told by pastor Leo Tsumba, that, its one thing to pray, its another to pray and seek an answered prayer. he said mostly Christians we just pray and then live it at that, no! expect the answer to the prayer, and will fill glean expect that prayer to be answered. Isaiah 49 vs 8-11

i then thought wow, this is surely true, and i went home to meditate this word, do i expect my prayers to be answered or i just pray and leave it at that. The Lord is awesome, He immediately answered me with an analogy, that i must share. I then saw a field at harvest time, green and lovely full of life and reap, the other farmers in the other fields, were busy harvesting, and there i was just there admiring my harvest, i could see, it, feel it, touch it, i even ate some from the field, but, i just stood there and watched. i even then sat down, and thought, wow, i have arrived, then said, i deserve to rest now, the harvest/produce is here, if i rest a lil bit, i will get energy to then harvest they bounty harvest. i had fellow farmers pushing me to harvest, and i began irritable, saying i will, leave me alone, i will harvest, i even got angry and told then to mind their own business. I look back at my produce and smile, it was there, what was their problem, its not going anywhere(so i thought). some of the farmers even volunteered to help me harvest, but i refused, i did not trust them, and i knew i did not want to pay them for their work, because the i would have less, some even said we will do i for free, but i refused.

Its harvest time, i sense it, yes it is! the time has come for us to harvest, the breakthrough has happened and its time to harvest! what are you doing during harvest time? just watching? Anyway before i knew it i was looking at a field with dry produce, right before my eyes. i had dry produce and it was no longer useful to me, because the harvest was essential, when fresh, not dry but green and fresh. i was thinking i do not want harvest time to pass, me by, and there, i had planted, nurtured watered, wedded and had beautiful produce, but i was right there looking at it when it went dry, why, because , the prayer had been answered and i had to harvest but, i was living in the moment and enjoying the "experience of great produce", without harvesting it!

The Lord of the harvest from Isaiah 48 vs 17-18 is here, and wants you to listen and learn the seasons. I don't know about you but i was thinking, Nhai Mwari has Isaiah always been like this alive and real, its like you can taste the word, and His promises are clear and YES & AMEN. Do not let this season pass you by, we all have worked hard to a place of harvest, now get on with it! HARVEST YOUR PRODUCE, don't let it dry up and go to waste, these could be gum tree blessing, and we all know they take 7 years to be able to harvest them.

There could be things happening around you, that draw your attention from harvesting, could be getting tired to pray, or feeling discouraged, and i declare refreshing and strength, that you may have the God kind of grace to harvest your produce, the time is now, RIGHT NOW! if your combined harvester has a clog, its time to built a strong team to pray and fast with you. The clog might be unforgiveness, did you know that your level of forgiveness will determine your level of faith. If you forgive, u have faith that God is in control and will take care of the hurt, the pain, and all that has drawn you back. Unclog that combined harvester and get harvesting, He is the Lord of the Harvest!

Of course it was not going anywhere, but i did not know that slowly but surely, it was drying up, and soon will just be an experience. when other people are encouraging you to soldier on, and to be accountable, don't be mad, listen learn, and see, where u can benefit, so that we do this. The bible says, the harvest is plenty but the laborers are few. don't be selfish and refuse for other to help you harvest through prayer and holding your hand to harvest, the more people u have in your corner and harvest team, the faster you fill the barns to overflow. Don't be afraid to be accountable, or to be mentored, those are people, who can even remind you its harvest time, and to get HARVESTING! Learn to trust that people want to help you for nothing in return, come on think about it, would you be able to afford your mentor, if they sent you an invoice, you even pay up your accountability partner? Let them help you harvest, the harvest is yours! who is you Eunuch and who is you Naomi? who is you walking with you side by side, whose foot steps are you following, whom are you allowing to speak into your life? it makes a difference when you have these people.

It might not make sense, but if you catch anything from this blog, i say HE is the LORD of the HARVEST, get Harvesting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Discipline is the key to my new fit and sexy me

OK, so i know that i had stopped exercising and eating right because of so many lame excuses, including getting robbed and work wat wat. Yes of course you can get discouraged but its the will power and discipline that should get you back on the road.

So yes a back on the road and i is fun, today i did some gardening (the African way - kusakurira mugarden) and it was one workout i tell, you, the abs were screaming from the heat of the bending up and down, i totally recommend gardening at least for 30 straight minutes, its a brilliant way to work out.

Yesterday i went jogging and met an old school mate, Sharon Makanyanga, was totally inspired. she was jogging with such joy, or maybe it was the joy of seeing me. Well we all want to look the best we can, in that lovely summer dress, don't we? No, do not be fooled, its summer and we all better look hot this summer and me included. Am tired of not feeling good body wise, i have the most amazing smile and i have a beautiful personality, i now have to work on a fit and sexy body to go with.

i am not aiming to be like barbie because that would be silly, am saying fit and sexy in Gods eyes and mine, and those that matter to me, right now, am so unfit and well sexy is far from wat i feel.
Food, i will not lie has been one of my down falls, so am working on it, eating right and watching my portions and i am so happy Lucy and Kuda have joined me, in the eating well health plan and we wait the results, and we see it working out well.

Discipline is even easier when you have someone to be accountable to, right now everyday Mudiwawashe is my accountability partner in terms of workout and Lucy and Kuda food wise, and its paying big rewards, am sure i will learn even other important lessons from this season, and will make all areas of my life sensible. When i bring my body to discipline, i am sure i will do so for my finances, career, business and even relationship. when one aspect of your life, especially health wise is out of control, a lot of things will too. It helps when you put structures in place, they keep you accountable definitely. i am also drinking 3 litres of water a day or more, and this is so good for my facial skin especially, i am loving it, just the going to and fro to the ladies is the hustle, but hey its worth it.

So i choose to be disciplined Ntando, if you reading this and i will shock you, wait and see. My mother is one disciplined and determined woman, when she puts her mind to something she does it, and i choose to be my mother's child and watch me loose weight and become fit and sexy,
By the time december hits, and weddings need me to be a braids maid, ha ha ha, i will be looking curviously hot, i tell you, fearfully and wonderfully made, definitely.

Mudiwawashe, i know you can do it, yes we can, hold my hand, girl, and lets work this out. So tomorrow is another day of workout and eating right and bring it on..,. it took discipline to build Rome, to repair the walls of Jerusalem, for Esther to prepare for her king, for Jesus to be crucified on the cross, i choose to be discipline enough to see, my self satisfied and pleased at God's handiwork, ME............. so this time i am more disciplined, and discipline is my driving value!!!!!!!!!!

JOB's friends, What kind of a friend are you?

i am so much inspired by the way job held on tight and just believed that God was going to do His thing, God did not dare curse God, not even a word or a thought. You know this is a very crazy season we are in, i have sen a lot of my friends going through of of their toughest seasons yet, and they just pressing on. At time we think that, my situation is the worse possible one, and no one, can understand what is going on with you.

I am not sure wat is going with you (yes you, reading this post) but i know that you must be in a season that you need some people to just sit with you, like Job's friends Chapter 2 from vs 11 -13. At times you do not need much from those that are close and dear to you, but for them to be just there, not even say a thing, but sit with you and not even utter a word, solitude, just to show that we see you grief, we love you and we are here, they sat with Job for 7 days. Now, now, i know we do not have 7 days to spare, but surely you have a sms, or a call or something to show that you see and understand their grief.

I have had wonderful friends and family, that are there for me always. I was saying to some people yesterday (at pastor Vimbayi Mahiya's Father's funeral) that there are times you need your friends and those you love, when you get married, have a child, when you get robbed and when someone dies. I might have left out some of the times, but am sure you understand where i am coming from, To just be there for those you call friends or family, its vital.

When they are weak, you are strong, when you are strong they are weak, it goes without say. You know i have days when i am strong, and have encouraged myself in the Lord through the word and worship, i look for people i can encourage and hold their hand through the season they are going through. We need to move away from being seasonal friends and be those that are true and constant. However if you do know that the relationship is seasonal, then be effective in the season, you have been assigned in that person's life. If you are there to encourage, restore, bless, pray, deliver, love, or just be there, then do that, because there will come a season, when your needs will need these friends.

If you look in chapter 3 of Job, his friends then remind him of how strong he has been for others and an encourager and all, and now he has grown weak, and that is were they come in to remind him of whose he is, who he is, and whom his God is. this is amazing. i am loving Job so much and i have a better understanding of who he did it, he was confident in his God firstly and then he had a solid support structure, however, the wife leaves a lot to desire, that why Pastor E' says, are you marrying a wife or a knife. i will nt even go into that one, whom you marry wat wat, but yes, you need to know whether this person can stand by you and still believe in you, not falter when trouble come, hanzi curse God and die, eeeeeeeeee, abominationwooo.

Job took a while to get out in the place he was at because his loss was great, but he eventually did. And it didnot say he did not trust his God no! We all need time to mourn, but not throwing pity-parties, go through the emotions and carry on with life without dwelling to much on the event look forward with hope, that God's perfect will, shall come to pass, and your future is much better than your past. I for one is a person, who shelves my emotions and avoid dealing with them, and then when i least expect it, the creep up on me, and i feel emotionally exhausted, tired and in-between emotions. If someone asks me, whats wrong, i will probably say i do not know, which is true, because i am not sure which issue is surfacing, what happened, when and why. But Job, went through the emotions and friends listened, and helped, or not i doono, but he went through the emotions.

Well be there for someone, especially those you hold close, and then be random as well, and be there for those that seem like they do not have anyone, and see if God will not cause a great blessing to come upon you. We give out of the abundance of our hearts, wats in yours? What have you been banking in your heart, can we withdraw it and give it to someone? I know the rich have many friends, and we always focus on financially rich only, did you know the rich in love too have many friends, the rich in peace, the rich in encouragement, the rich in grace they too have loads of friends, the poor at these too have nothing, even their own neighbours and family despise them

What kind of a friend are you?

Hold me Lord.........

ok, so where to start its a monday and almost a week after i got robbed, the things i had spent my life working for, you wake up and there is nothing, like nothing in the house. i remember the day so clearly i did not want to think, my usual problem, i just carried on like there was nothing wrong, told myself, be strong don't be silly, people will think u do not have faith. Yes i was grateful noone got hurt, that they got in and out without hurting anyone i loved, but the biggest thing they had hurt was my heart and my will power to just trust. i feel so violated and aaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh anger is somewhere there in the mix of things.

i know myself to have gone thru really crazy thing in like, facing domestic violence, staying in musasa project, being a single mother. loosing a man i had given my best years to someone else, then going thru a divorce, being alone, with my son and finding my way with Christ in me only, i know iknow, most christians would then say yes, thats all u need, and yes i know that, but there comes a point in you life you are like Lord, when is it my turn to experience sweet victory. one thing i know is that even those that love you will never know or understand wat is going on inside you, or how much you need help, and how far the help should go.

then you are those that think they are doing you a favour to talk to you, and that my life would stop without them, well that was like random, but hey, a girl need to go random at times.
Then you are in line to be a deacon and there are the watchdogs that just sit around and wait for you to make a mistake and take u out. then people forget that u need time to self and cmy child, they just dump on u things, ok, i know i allow them as well, but am better now, i can even say No, when i see it fit too. pressure! ok that was random too.

I am so weak, i feel like heish Lord, saka, ndosvika riini, ndichicelebrator other people's victories. Yes i know stand, having done all to stand, and like i said to my brothe r Bvumai, then why d i do all the standing while others are sitting or lying down, my legs will swell ka. . Yes yes, i hear you christians, its darkest before dawn, huh? ok, then its pitch black right now, someone tell me what time is it right. It is doing my head in. Yes, do not be fooled, i love my God i know what He has done for me and whta He keeps doing, am just tired. You hear people say the devil is there to steal kill and destroy, i even said that when i got robbed, and then today it hit me, why am i just content with the first half of John 10:10 and then when is my But He has come to give you life and life more abundantly.

i know we celebrate even the smallest of breakthrus, but heish, i would so love big ones. In my church there is a course called walking free, i thought to myself, maybe i need to go wash myself in something, and then i did, in the blood of Jesus, but ok, now wat, wait?? hmmmmmmmmm, heish the Juanita kinda wait, ahhhh! well i have not even exercised because handina strength yacho, i really am waitign to see, when it is my turn to just say heeeeeee! and i am thinking if i feel like this, how is my son, he is young and really needs the cover and support, i think i need to slow down and just be with Tinayemudiwa, but then again, a support system that is strong has helped me come this far.

Tinayemudiwa does not even feel secure to be home anymore, he wants out, because he consistantly thinks matsotsi will come and steal him this time. and to add insult to injury his dad, plays passive dad, and when it suits him, he looks for him, i just want him to be there for his son, call him, talk to him, i know he is going to the uk to see his dad, but then wat? will he feel loved and covered and protected and cherished. i fear that he will come back rejected and i will have a lot of damage control to do. ok, i have so many thougts right now and i did not even think i had all this.

i want my mother home, like seriously, as serious as a heart attack. there is no place u should go without your mother, (that too goes for my son, uk, hmmmm) i miss my mother, there is one time in april, my sister had just moved back from the uk for good, and we had a huge fight, and all i need was to be somewhere i was loved and cared for, i went to my dad's house(lol big mistake) Charity, my father's wife, whom by the way has never been abused or shouted at by anyone for coming to be a second wife, decides to illtreat me, all i know is wat goes around comes around, maybe not on you, but on the next generation. if you steal someone's husband be rest assured your daughter will experience the same thing, someone will take her, ok random again, focus tendi.

so Lord, ok, this is my simple plee today, hold me! i need you to be tangible right now, my emotions seem to be all over like body lotion, and yes i am strong, yes i can fight, and yes i ca do all things thru christ who strengthens me! so here i am Lord desperate for a touch, to hear your voice, to see your greatness, to shout and see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. well then i gues psalm 91 will have to get tired with me, because i will meditate on it day and night, i am not forgotten, i am the apple of God's eye, He brags about me all the time and likes to show off of my faithfulness.

there is no other name, the main name is the name of Jesus, He is able................